I came to Manhattan optimistic about all the dating opportunities. With all the people here, how could it be hard to find a guy to date? But I quickly found that it is much more complicated. It isn’t just me. A hometown friend from suburban Michigan—and others who’ve lived here longer—agree.
Naturally it takes time to find favorite spots, adjust to Manhattan culture, and become comfortable. But that doesn’t mean that dates will come effortlessly, even after some time. A friend who has lived here seven years, encouraged by a roommate who quickly found someone to date, decided to put her profile on the site OKCupid.
Maybe some hesitate to date online because it feels less natural than a random meeting, which may feel as if the connection was meant to be. Another friend said, “It’s not as organic as going to a bar and meeting someone and realizing there’s a spark. It’s more creating the spark. It’s more artificial.” But is it? I wanted to find out.
According to Marie Claire, online dating is much like the bar scene. On OKCupid, women often say they are “very selective” or “respond rarely.” That is much like an attractive woman at a bar with an uninterested air. If a guy does get an online response from the “very selective,” they can feel as accomplished as if the standoffish woman at a bar responded.
Also, just as in real life, we choose dates who look good in their picture, just as if we were scanning a bar for the most attractive person.
A less obvious similarity is the way that online dating is much like advertising. In the same way that a company wants to get their point across quickly and efficiently, the best online profiles are short and simple, making people want to know more. In real life dating, no one wants to hear a life story that drags on or is overwhelming.